Dear Anonymous Bosch,

For the last six months we've been reading and seeing a lot about the new pedestrian walkway over the East Beltline—a new and safer link between the two campuses. There have been almost daily construction reports on the Calvin "Stepping East" website, complete with text describing and pictures showing the two new buildings across the street from the main campus. Here's my question: The two new buildings had been named long before the footings were dug, but there's no word yet about the new bridge's name. Is this some sort of big secret? Or will this be the first major construction project on the Knollcrest campus without a name?

Nominally yours,
A Friend of the College for Whom Nothing Yet at Knollcrest Has Been Named
What Cheer, Iowa

Dear Friend of the College (and may your tribe increase),

You're right about the name situation—the nearly completed bridge has not yet been named. But it's not because of lack of effort. There have been lots of suggestions that have come to the surface over the last year.

A high-level administrator—I'm not allowed to use his name—wanted it called The Bridge to the 21st Century, but that fine suggestion was finally voted down. It seems that no one could agree to refer to the East Campus as the 21st century without invidious, even odious comparisons to the Classic Campus (no, not the Old Campus—Franklin Campus). Moreover, the folks in the Conference Center would have been glad to be linked to the new century, but the political science department and the communications arts and sciences department have their differences on this issue—one department is glad to be identified with the here and now, while the other department is already restless and restive, already straining toward the 22nd century, when it will rule the world.

Sometimes it seems as if all the good names have been taken. Early on, the art history crowd on campus hoped to invoke the spirit of Florence (Ponte Vecchio) or of Venice, Cambridge or Oxford (Bridge of Sighs), but snowplows loaded with salt effectively diminish that illusion as they roar under the bridge in the bleak midwinter. (A few etymologically gifted church historians noted the connection between pons, ponte, Pontius and pontiff, but without even a hint of an anti-ecumenical spirit.)

People have their favorites, and understandably so; you can imagine the special interest groups that promoted such names as the Charles Bridge, the Szabagsad Hid of Budapest, Lethbridge, Uxbridge, Wheatstone Bridge, the Bridge over the River Kwai, A Bridge Too Far, London Bridge, the Pons Varolii or the Pons Asinorum. Still other groups lobbied for Rubber Bridge, Auction Bridge and Contract Bridge, with its constraints on overtricks, an emphasis not lost on the less playful at Calvin. You can probably imagine the passionate advocacy for dental bridges, the Bridge of Gold, bridge loans, bridgenotes, flying bridges, flybridges and bridgeheads. And certain harmless drudges have noted that the word "bridge" need not be thought of exclusively as a noun-its use as a verb is enormous, too: "bridge the gap" has a fine and probably theological resonance to it.

So it looks as if there'll have to be a contest to settle the matter, not only for the new bridge but also for the other as yet unnamed buildings and areas on the campus. The underground tunnel system still has no official name; nor does the Quonset hut near the track; nor does the slough that feeds the pellucid Seminary Pond; nor does the sportive little woods just south of De Wit Manor. The ponds west of the athletic fields also lack official names; the solitary racquetball court molders on in ignominious namelessness. Watch for the announcement, but plan ahead.

Some Calvinist cynics (a perverse but real oxymoron) assume that this larger naming project is more likely to reward power than it will the discovery of the mot juste. Such assumptions are unworthy of a response from me; think of Adam, whose naming task we have inherited. When the right names come into view, we will know it, or my name's not Anonymous.

Sincerely yours,
Anonymous Bosch

Editor's note: All "Bosching" aside, the new pedestrian overpass does have an official name—"Calvin's Crossing." We'll give readers the full story next issue.