by Diane Brummel Bloem and Robert C. Bloem

Every wedding involves details that most people don't notice--unless something goes wrong. To help couples plan and prepare more efficiently for their weddings, some churches have appointed wedding coordinators.

Other couples are helped by an experienced master and mistress of ceremonies--such as Diane and Robert Bloem. Although the Bloems usually do not get involved in the service itself, they provide a valuable planning service to the families, the church, and the guests who look forward to a wedding celebration.

They looked at each other with deep satisfaction. "We're finally ready for our wedding," she said. She reached for her copy of their wedding vows while her groom-to-be gathered up the music they had chosen.

"I commend you for the careful thought you have put into this wedding," the pastor told them as they prepared to leave his office. "When I see a couple so concerned about planning a sacred ceremony, I know that this same concern for honoring God will smooth their path through life."

At the rehearsal, though, he wondered if his original impression had been accurate. The bride and groom arrived at the special chapel they had reserved only to find the doors locked; neither of them had the remotest idea whom to call to open them. They were both frustrated and short-tempered by the time they tracked down a janitor.

When they were finally ready to begin, they had to substitute family members for two members of the wedding party who were missing. One of their bridesmaids arrived late because no one had given her instructions on how to get to the chapel. And an usher--confused about the various times for dinners and rehearsal and pre-wedding meetings he had been given--didn't show up at all until the post-rehearsal dinner.

The rehearsal itself was an ordeal. Because no one knew who was in charge, tempers flared and tears glistened. Neither bride nor groom had any idea how to work the lights or the sound system. And their parents had drastically different ideas about how the bridal party should enter and where they should stand.

Though the groom's family had carefully planned the rehearsal dinner, the frayed feelings generated in the rehearsal made it difficult for several people to enjoy their meal. "We'll all feel better after a good night's rest," was the groom's guarantee for a brighter tomorrow.

But the next day tensions only increased. By the time the pictures were taken before the ceremony, everyone was hungry and hot, and no one had made any provisions for food or drink for the wedding party. Two of the bridesmaids started to feel faint. The caterer tapped on the dressing room door and announced that no cake had been delivered. And the florist arrived to remove the flowers before the ceremony had even begun . . .

This couple, who had worked in such devoted detail on the ceremony, had unfortunately paid little attention to the practical planning so crucial to such a function. What was supposed to be a celebration of love was nearly ruined by confusion and misunderstanding.

Though it's doubtful that many couples do as poor a job of planning as this one did, almost every bride and groom could use a little assistance in preparing for this important celebration. To help make your wedding a time of happiness instead of frenzy, we offer the following general checklist. The bride and groom should be able to answer all of these questions and should supply a copy of these answers to the master and mistress of ceremonies before the day of the rehearsal.
 
Wedding Checklist
 
General Information
Date of wedding_______________
Place_______________ Phone___________ Confirmed_____
Time_______________
Number of guests_______________
Place of reception_______________ Phone___________ Confirmed_____
Time of reception_______________
Members of wedding party
Bride_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Groom _______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Bride's parents_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Groom's parents_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Attendants_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Soloist_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Organist_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Other musicians_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Minister_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Guest book attendant_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Punch servers_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Photographer_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Caterer_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Florist_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Baker (cake)_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
Janitor_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
 
Ceremony
When will candles be lit?_______________
By whom?_______________
Will programs be distributed?_______________
How?_______________
Who is responsible for the guest book and pen?_______________
Will the ceremony be videotaped?_______________
Where will the video photographer stand?_______________
Will the ceremony be audiotaped?_______________
By whom?_______________
Who is responsible for purchasing video/audio tapes?_______________
Will a sound system be used?_______________
Who will set up and run it?_______________
Where will guests hang their coats?_______________
Where are the restrooms?_______________
How many rows reserved for bride's relatives?_______________
Groom's relatives?_______________
Which grandparents will be present?_______________
Where will they be seated?_______________
Will guests with disabilities need help or special seats?_______________
Where is the ramp for guests who have a disability?_______________
Special seating arrangements for separated families?_______________
If so, describe:_______________
How much music should be played prior to the service?_______________
When should it begin?_______________
When should the processional start?_______________

--When all guests are seated

--At the time the wedding is scheduled to begin

--After grandparents and parents are ushered in

--Other_______________
Who will direct or assist the processional?_______________
Who will have the rings?_______________
When should they be given to the bride and groom?_______________
Will a unity candle be part of the ceremony?_______________
If so, will side candles be extinguished or kept burning?_______________
How will the bride and groom be introduced? (Mr. & Mrs. John Smith, John and Mary Smith, Mary Jones and John Smith, etc.)_______________
Where will the receiving line stand?_______________
Who will be in it and in what order?
_______________
_______________
_______________
_______________
_______________
_______________
_______________
_______________
 
Rehearsal
Date_______________
Time_______________
Place_______________ Phone ___________Confirmed_____
Person in charge_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
People expected to be at rehearsal_______________
 
Rehearsal Checklist
Note: The bride and groom should be careful to work out all the details--even those that may seem insignificant--before the rehearsal. Expand list below as needed.
___ Introduce participants
___ Locate dressing and/or entry rooms
___ Decide lighting and who will control it
___ Instruct ushers and practice with them
___ Locate places for participants to stand during ceremony
___ Have bridal party enter and find places (without music, to save time)
___ Go through processional, ceremony, and recessional with music as planned
___ Repeat until all are confident
___ Notify participants when pictures will be taken
___ _______________
___ _______________
___ _______________
___ _______________
___ _______________
___ _______________
___ _______________
___ _______________
 
Reception
Time_______________
Place _______________Phone___________ Confirmed_____
Person in Charge_______________ Phone___________ Contacted_____
 
Reception Checklist
Photos prior to ceremony or following?_______________
If after, are guests informed of a delay before reception?_______________
Arrangements confirmed with caterer and baker?_______________
Where will gifts be placed?_______________
Will gifts be opened by attendants or left unopened for bride and groom?_______________
If opened, who will keep track of source?_______________
Is a sound system needed?_______________
Available?_______________
Who will it be controlled by?_______________
Describe the seating arrangements_______________
Describe the serving arrangements_______________
How will the reception begin?_______________
Who will offer prayers?_______________
Toasts?_______________
When will the bride and groom cut the cake?_______________
Is a program planned?_______________
If so, describe:_______________
Who is in charge of the program?_______________
How will the reception end?_______________
What will be done with the flowers?_______________
Who will take charge of the men's formal wear?_______________
The bride's dress?_______________
Who is responsible for the care of gifts?_______________

Diane Brummel Bloem and Robert C. Bloem, authors of Workshop on Bible Marriages (Zondervan), are members of Kelloggsville Christian Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan.