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The Quotefile

I've always liked humorous quotes, so I've made a habit of collecting them, especially on the internet. Here's a stash of them for your enjoyment. If you see a quote from yourself in here that you want removed, just let me know. Got any quotes to add? let me know too! First section is random, second is for IRC quotes.

Quotes

• "We now return you to your regularly scheduled program "How Tinfoil Changed my Life"" - Another Iowan

• "Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you" - Satchel Paige

• "Never let go of an odd idea when you can inflate it to the point of utter daffiness." -David Szondy

• "I just like doing random, absurd things with interesting people." -A.J. Margolis

• "Trying to control a community is like trying to tie your shoes with spaghetti." -Krystyn

IRC Quotes

These are generally from my IRC chats in #unfiction chat. I go by the nick SirQuady there, so if you see me, say hi!

<SirQuady> wait, are mp4 files openable in VLC?
<Wiser> yes
<apcfreak> yup
<apcfreak> anything is openable in VLC
<apcfreak> ANYTHING
<apcfreak> it is magic
<SirQuady> VLC IS majic
<Wiser> actually, the answer to "are * files openable in VLC" is yes
<apcfreak> Wiser: haha yeah
<RobMagus> vlc will open everything
<AnthraX101> I told u it was hardcore

<Crispy`> "AMERICA USES CAPITALISM" "RUSSIA FAINTS. IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE"

<SirQuady> i wouldnt want David and Leigh Eddings books maed into movies/audio books/whatever, because they did such a perfect job of writing to give the reader an excellent, personal vision of who the characters are
* Six fires a canon at Caleb
<SirQuady> cannon or canon?
<Six> that is the question
<Six> whether it is better to suffer the slings and arrows of outragous fanfics,
<Six> or to let it die
* Six bows

<Wiser> you need to feed your router a banana.

<Rorschach> yeah!
* KungeRutta sticks jason into ror's mind
<Jas0n> oh holy heck..
<Rorschach> oh, sorry jas0n. let me clean up a bit, I didn't expect visitors.
<Jas0n> if it had been runge's head I could have commented on the cobwebs
<KungeRutta> hey!
<KungeRutta> i had them cleaned up

<fireball> there's nothing like a pack of rabid wolves to bring a family together.

<Rowan> i think 4chan is an april fools joke gone horrbily horribly wrong
<bags> *nod*
<bags> in fact, one could argue that the statement, "4chan is a ______________ gone horrbily horribly wrong", is universally true, no matter what you fill in the blank with

<Mapmaker> F*%KING F*%KSTICKS YOU R*%#@S WHY DON'T YOU P!#*$T ON A BIG E%*$@#B
* dante copies and pastes that for future use

<Garf> Wikipedia! you go to look up a CSS term..
<Garf> and you end up reading about Spanish painters and astronaut micrometeorite protection
<Liquid> tabbed browsing will be the death of the human race

<air_wick> I believe we have firmly established we are all Science's bitches

<Rorschach> I want to take a self-offence course
<cortana> Please note this is different than a self-abuse course.
<AxysDenyed> That have courses in that?

<Sin_Vraal> zombie nation names:
<Sin_Vraal> 1) Zombia
<Sin_Vraal> 2) Equatorial Zombie
<Sin_Vraal> 3) Zomibia
<Sin_Vraal> 4) Burkina Zombo
<air_wick> Zombonia
<RungeKutta> ZOMBIE NATION!
<RungeKutta> doo doo doo dooo doo
<Sin_Vraal> 5) Undead Canada
<air_wick> undead canada is fine
<Sin_Vraal> 6) Zombylslovakia
<Sin_Vraal> or perhaps Czombylslovakia
<SirQuady> United States of GRRAAAAHHHG!
<Sin_Vraal> 7) Zombouti
<Sin_Vraal> 8) Mozombique
<Sin_Vraal> that is all

<Razordogz> We didn't land on the moon, it was a soundstage on Mars.

<RungeKutta> Dio fought the law, and the law won!
<SirQuady> law regrets to inform dio that such failure will haunt you forevermore, amen.
<Euchre> failure is not an option, unless of course you count that dying while trying is somehow success

<Lezzie> Computer, deactivate iguana.

<Six> there should so be satnav viruses
<RungeKutta> haha
<Six> "in negitive 73 feet, turn up"
<SirQuady> lol
<SirQuady> Turn at a 378 degree angle to the north west
<RungeKutta> that's obviously faulty
<Six> "When you see a..NO LOOK OUT FOR THAT TRUCK!"
<RungeKutta> I better one would give wrong directions
<Six> "In 200 meters, stop being such a sucky driver"
<RungeKutta> instead of "in 200 meters, take a left at Oak Street" it would be "in 150 meteres, take a right at Pine Steet"
<Six> I'm done.
<RungeKutta> take you in the right general direction, but completely off so you dont know where it is
<SirQuady>"Turn right at fork in road"..."In soviet russia, road forks YOU!!"
* catherFood scrolls up
<Six> "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, beeeeep. Game over, would you like to play again?"

<Urthstripe> The best way to keep a guy at least ten feet away? Dry heave. Vomit is the new mace

<0m3n> WE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND THEN WE WILL GO TO WORK ON YOU!
<lisa> i will put a big red ribbon on my door so you can easily find my house
<Om3n> THANKS
<lisa> no problem

<Ehsan> #unfiction: filtering out intelligent people and keeping the rest since 1969

<Macavity> Elvis isn't dead. He just went home :P
<Rogi> Elvis is teaching Bigfoots how to drive UFOs at Area 51.
<[twilight]> I thought he was babysitting the muppet babies
<Rogi> That's Jimmy Hoffa
<RungeKutta> rogi: I heard he was working at area 53 now
* Rorschach points to the "Area 53" employee of the month pin on Rogi's shirt
<RungeKutta> ror: that's not 53, that's 1337 - he actually works at Area SE
<RungeKutta> kind of like Win 95SE

<SirQuady> holy crap!
<Dragonryder> Where? *looks for a pile of $#!t with a halo*