How not to confess
Language Log looks at politicians’ rituals of repentance and identifies six steps, including:
2. Have your family, especially your wife, standing next to you. Begin with, “I want to briefly address a private matter.” “Briefly” downplays the importance of what you did. “Address” makes it formal and powerful. “Private matter” says it’s really nobody’s business but your own.
3. Admit wrong-doing in a general way. Don’t be specific because the fact has already come out and it doesn’t need to be repeated endlessly, especially by you.
4. Frame an apology without specifics. Stress your family. Say you’ve “disappointed,” but not “disgraced” or “acted illegally.” Spitzer’s went like this:
I have acted in a way that violates my obligations to my family and violates my, or any, sense of right and wrong. I apologize first and most importantly to my family. I apologize to the public to whom I promised better. I have disappointed and failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself.
Better to be simple and sincere: see Vertical Habits
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