Worry

Friday, September 29, 2006

Well it’s Friday again—only three weeks away from Family Weekend!  Students are completing their fourth week of classes. Most have taken this semester’s first test and/or had a writing assignment come due. 

Parents I have talked to or run into these past four weeks seem generally content about their student’s college experience thus far.  In spite of that I know that many parents are secretly busy with one of the prime activities of parenting a college student.

They worry.

Parents are all over the board when it comes to topics they choose to worry about.  The September 2006 “Question of the Month” touched on those issues: “As you think about the upcoming academic year, what concerns you most regarding your student’s Calvin experience?” Based on input from 168 parents here are how those responses broke down:

* Time Management: 19.0%
* Academics: 15.5%
* Personal Relationships: 14.3%
* Spiritual Wellness: 13.7%
* Career Planning: 11.9%
* Finances: 10.1%
* Health: 2.4%
* Involvement opportunities outside classroom: 2.4%
* Safety: 0.6%
* Other: 10.1%

It’s interesting to me that even though time management tops that list, there are five other very healthy contenders for the #1 position—each worthy of a parent’s prayers and concern.

Let me share this comforting Bible passage and a short piece that I wrote for a church devotional booklet a few years ago.  It’s an eternal promise that’s been helpful for this dad when those “worry” opportunities pop up.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
- Philippians 4: 4-9

Worldly happiness is fickle.  Our mood can soar and then suddenly crash, often triggered by the most trivial of events.  A co-worker makes an offhand comment about a haircut or an outfit.  The oven breaks down an hour before “company” comes. The bills pour in faster than the cash. The dog does his business on . . . well, you get the idea.

Happiness in this life is so often tied to events beyond our control. When our mood swings downward we often play the “If only this hadn’t happened” or “If only I had done this or that” games.  We never win at these games when worldly happiness is our goal. 

Happiness must not be confused with joy or with peace.  Worldly happiness has everything to do with how I feel at the moment.  It is temporary.  Joy (the root word of rejoice) and peace have everything to do with who I am in Jesus Christ. They are eternal.  No earthly thing can mess around with that.  Joy and peace are mine for keeps. God promises that nothing can separate me from His love.  We can rejoice even through tears of sorrow because we know that, no matter what happens to us, our comfort—our only comfort—is in Him. When we are in Jesus Christ we gain an eternal perspective and a peace that helps us to deal with the minor irritations and inconveniences that we encounter every day.

My favorite passage is Philippians 4: 4-9.  Rejoice in the Lord, ALWAYS. There’s nothing ambiguous about the word always. The passage outlines my response to every situation.  It helps me gain composure when I am angry.  It resonates in my soul when I am happy.  It brings me peace when I am sorrowful.  It provides direction and insight when I am confused.

I am not always able to control the things that happen to me in this life, but I am always able to control my response. God’s plan for my response in every situation is abundantly simple and clear.

Be joyful in God.  Be gentle.  Don’t worry.  Always pray.  Be thankful.  Think about the good stuff, not the junk.  Do the good stuff.

And the result?  The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. . . and the God of peace will be with you.”

I’ll take that over fickle happiness any day.

(1) Comments • Christian Formation • Parenting • Personal • The First-Year Experience • Permalink

<< Back to main