Aren’t They Still Our Kids?

Friday, September 15, 2006

By Jim Van Wingerden

At a summer PASSPORT session a while back a dad commented, “These PASSPORT sessions are helpful but I’m starting to resent hearing you and others here at the college continually referring to ‘your student.’ They aren’t our STUDENTS, they are our KIDS!  They are YOUR students!  Can’t they still be OUR kids?” The chuckles that echoed in the auditorium lead me to believe that his comment had struck a nerve with several other parents in the room.

I heard that dad’s comment loud and clear.  My oldest is already in 11th grade and I too am beginning to lament the inevitable passage from home to college.  That lament is universal for all parents. Even though we as parents are excited for our sons and daughters as they embark on this rite of passage called college, we still mourn as they become increasingly independent from mom and dad.

On some level, your college students will always be your kids.  My parents still refer to me as their “kid” even though I passed that stage a few decades ago.  However I’m long past correcting my parents or others outside of the college arena that refer to grown-up people as “kids” or “our children.”

Still, within the Calvin arena I and others here will be intentional when we talk to you as college parents about your student.  We believe that young men and women in the 18 and up age bracket should no longer be referenced as children or kids.  We will avoid phrases like “your children” or “your child” but will instead make references to “your student” or “your sons and daughters.” We’re not trying to be insensitive to parents’ feelings and their transitioning rolls.  But it is clearly our mission to help young men and women transition into their adult rolls as agents of renewal in the academy, church, and society.

Yes, on some level they will always be your kids.  They certainly will always be your sons and daughters, just as you will always be their dads and moms.  Parenting is a lifetime job.  And for a few brief years they will be our “student” and we will reference them as “your student.”

But remember that when they came to Calvin (and maybe even before) they ceased being a “child.” Though, regardless of how old we become, each of us remains a child of God.

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