Monday, January 05, 2009

V is for Vocabulary

A slavish concern for the composition of words is the sign of a bankrupt intellect.—Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth (from the Humbug to the Spelling Bee)

I just hung up the phone, but I’m still laughing.

A company representative called here to get my younger sister’s new mailing address and her new last name. It’s a short name—four little letters (which is a bargain after spelling Langefeld your whole life). I always thought it was easy to spell, but the poor man on the other end of the line couldn’t hear me at all.

After three tries, he still had a completely different last name for her, so I resorted to the usual “A as in apple! B as in bear! C as in cat!” technique. It feels like giving a kindergarten lesson, minus the fabulous picture books.

Only trouble is, my mind was a complete blank. “K!” I bawled into the phone. “K as in… as in…” And I couldn’t think of a single word that began with K, except kangaroo. With our bad connection, a long word would make things worse.

N was somehow the worst letter. Not a single word could I think of that began with N.

Finally, “Night! Or noon!” I cried.

“Oh!” he said, just as excited. “M!”

“No!” I shrieked. “N! N as in…” All reasonable words fled my brain. Did I dare try nightingale?

Bless his heart, he realized that if I was still freaking out, M wasn’t correct, and N would be the logical choice. So my sister’s name is now spelled correctly, no thanks to my attempts at an alphabet lesson.

The reason I’m laughing? I’m thankful he didn’t ask what I did or where I was sitting.

I’m at my desk, I would have had to say. Because I’m a writer. And despite all appearances, I actually know a few words.

I just can’t think of any right now.

Maybe I’ll spend some quality time with the dictionary this afternoon, eh?—jl

Posted by Jenn Langefeld on 01/05 at 01:57 PM
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