Tuesday, March 28, 2006

sabbath revelations

Day Two after spring break. And no, I didn’t get a tan. But I also didn’t get my wisdom teeth out (which was long ago the plan), so no complaints. (I was on a waiting list for the teeth, and the oral surgeon never called… so I get to keep ‘em for a little longer.)

Spring break was my cousin’s wedding, a few days in Nashville with my older sister, and then a handful of days bumming around home with my parents. It consisted of quality ice cream (oh yes) and quality conversation. Plenty of coffee. A dose of Thai food. Catching up with my amazing friend Karen in St. Louis (a visit that included coffee, tea, church, and a used bookstore, all with a great friend and good conversation—I ask you, what else does a girl need??). Reading books late at night before bed. (Recommended: Ella Minnow Pea. Go read it.)

It was a good break, though not a super super restful one. (Nor a super super productive one. Rats.) An odd combination: not enough work done, but not enough rest either. Hmm. So I got back to GR not fully rested and still needing to work. And that unhappy mixture, as well as the excellent visit I had with Karen, got me thinking.

I have worked really hard this semester. Maybe (look out, Dutch work ethic) I’ve worked too hard???

It’s always been the most challenging balance at college: how do you work hard and well and consistently, without frying yourself? How do you obey God’s mandate to rest and your own desire to enjoy yourself… without settling for a lower GPA? I’ve been at it intensely for three and a half years, and I certainly haven’t figured it out yet.

For most of my semesters, I’ve been able to keep Sabbath—to hit church in the morning, to spend some time with pals, to stay away from the textbooks in favor of pleasure reading on those days. I can stick to it until late in the semester, when those term papers start falling out of the sky (MAYDAY!) and I have to play catch-up. (Even as I write this, I wonder: is that even the language I should use to discuss the Sabbath? Something to stick to? But I didn’t mean to get especially theological here…)

All this to say: This semester, it’s been kind of like, “What Sabbath??” I mean, yes, I still go to church, but the resting bit? Nope. I’ve been taking all Sunday to work, after a Saturday of… work and a Friday of… yep, work. (No, I’m not a complete recluse, but the resting is significantly less this term.)

And at the end of spring break, I was thinking: this isn’t right. I’ve been exhausted and peaceless, and honestly? That’s no way to wrap up a college career. One of my closest friends said that her 2006 New Year’s Resolution was: Have Fun. I think my Spring Semester Part Two Resolution might be: Rest More.

I’ve already realized that I can never get every aspect of every assignment and demand done. Not when there are dishes to do, cars to maintain (mine definitely had a crisis a couple of weeks ago—the towing guy is my hero), and—dare I say it?—friends I want to see! How carefully and thoroughly do I read everything? How exhaustive are my responses and papers going to be? How long and hard will I study? And at what cost, at what cost?

Not that I’m proposing anything radical. But I want to keep my Sundays clean from here to the end. I’d like to relax my naturally anal-retentive grip on all the commitments I’ve made and just not stress out so much. And I might have to cheat a bit some weeks, to work only until three p.m. on Sundays but keep the evenings clear, or something. Though I hate to modify a resolution with compromise from the get-go.

Thoughts? How do you stay sane?—jl

Posted by Jenn Langefeld on 03/28 at 11:33 PM
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