Friday, September 07, 2007

week 1 of the rest of my life

I have always been pretty comfortable in my vague unknowledge of what my life would hold in the future.  Even with my selected path (editing) when I entered college, I never really knew for sure what I would be doing or what my life would look like.  I guess it is appropriate that now I have sort of settled into a direction, but it’s a bit daunting.  What if I get completely trained in this area and end up not liking it?  What if I’ve chosen the wrong path?

I’m having to do a lot of trusting God these days.  With starting my speech pathology classes I have realized more fully that this is most likely what I will be doing for the rest of my life.  Of course there are the statistics about how often people change their career.  Not just their job, their entire career path.  So I know that I will not be required to continue doing speech pathology for my whole life if I absolutely hate it.  I don’t really think I will hate it though.  So far my classes are interesting and full of information that I assume will be useful.  My books are ridiculously expensive but that isn’t a complete surprise.  And hey, I can always keep them forever and reference them when I’m in grad school or have a job. 
There’s another big thing that has entered my future: grad school.  I was never going to go to grad school.  That has never been a part of the non-plan.  And now…I am definitely going to grad school.  There really isn’t any other option with speech pathology.  It’s kind of exciting really.  A new adventure to look forward to.  I’m sure that while I’m actually in grad school it will feel like less of an adventure and more like hard work, but I’m going to remain optimistic for the time being. 
I guess I’m just a bit overwhelmed by the amount of adulthood that has been thrust upon me.  20 seemed old when I was 10 and still when I was 15, 16, 17, 18, and even 19.  But 20 is not old.  20 is hardly more than 10.  I don’t always feel much more mature or ready for “real life” than I did when I was younger, but there is a lot more responsibility: a car, a cell phone, a computer, a house, a full course load of classes, a job, and lots of relationships.  It is very fulfilling when things go well, and very difficult when they don’t.  But you deal and move on and continue to trust that God’s plan is good, especially when you have a plan for the first time.

Posted by Emily MacLeod on 09/07 at 04:09 PM

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