Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Writing on Steroids
Like baseball sluggers who juice themselves up to hit more home runs, we did an in-class “writing on steroids” exercise to artificially pump up our writing. Now that we know what it feels like to be bulked up, let’s go back to our “weight room” (or our dorm rooms) and strengthen our writing muscles for real!
Here was the most juiced-up page from the bulkiest group:
While language began as an oral tradition—starting anciently [editor’s note: I didn’t think this was a word until I looked it up] and continuing through the 15th century—literacy changed communication with its invention. [+2 for a complex sentence] As Ong states in his many works on the theory of literature, written communication established a sense of eloquence in our culture; it made us appear more educated. [+2 for a complex sentence, +2 for semicolon]
Ong—growing up in a Catholic Church—stresses the importance of literacy, which inevitably carries over into other aspects of life.[+2 for a complex sentence] Ong studied under mentors and gained an appreciation for intelligence and communication; this fueled his passion for the written word.[+2 for semicolon]
Although modern contemporaries do not agree with Ong’s notion, they hold importance in our culture; whether we like it or not, our language inevitably defines us. [+4 for two complex sentences, +2 for semicolon]
Total score: 16
Scoring system:
semicolon: +2
complex sentence: +2
compound-complex: +3
adverb: +1
adv. beginning a sentence: +1
prep. phrase beginning a sentence: +2
independent clause by itself: -1
sentence fragment: -2