Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Lexical moment of “have you ever wondered"_edirin
Have you ever wondered why American’s always ask if you “would like to do something” for them when they really mean to say “do it”? Don’t know what I’m talking about? Let’s look at some examples:
Hey Edirin, do you wanna help mop the floors now?
Edirin, you think you could maybe clean up this mess before I get back?
Edirin, you wanna help carry this boulder to the other side of town while venomous snakes tail you by the ankles?
No! I don’t want to do the FRIGGIN dishes, I don’t want to help you battle a Cyclops, and I don’t want to try on your wife’s pajamas! But maybe if you ask nicely I might consider!
I mean in all honesty, who really wants to do anything anyway? If we all had it our way we would prefer to either: sit around and do nothing or go out and have some fun. We didn’t decide to start working at Johnny’s café because we have an unquenchable desire to clean out grills, sweep floors, and empty out the garbage. We decided to work at Johnny’s so we could get money. Money we can use to either go out and have fun or have the option to sit around and do nothing with.
It seems that people are too scared to sound commanding or authoritarian, and become the scourge of every employee in the workplace or classroom. But whether they like it or not they ARE commanding and authoritarian, and it seems rather stupid to mask something that everyone can plainly see. And who ever said being commanding was a bad thing anyway? Can you imagine Obi-wan Kenobi asking the republican army if they “would like” to attack the rebel drones? Of course not! It’s the same way you would never hear a mugger asking if the old lady “would like” to give him/her her purse?
It is possible to be direct with a person and still be kind and fair at the same time. Just tell me to do it and I will! If I’ve got a problem with it I’ll let you know! It’s like asking for a diet coke after ordering a double Decker grease burger with fries, an apple pie, a side order of backed beans, and a milk shake with whipped cream. I don’t understand? The diet coke doesn’t burn calories Einstein! Even Slim Fast dietary shakes don’t do that. (Sigh)…some things are just beyond my comprehension.