Friday, October 28, 2005
Give yourself a break!
Perhaps like me, you grew up with the long-standing adage: “Patience is a virtue.” Maybe you have heard it so many times that it has lost its meaning or better still, you are waiting for its truth to manifest itself in your life. Here’s some good news, you are not alone. Henri Nouwen puts words to a well-known fact: “Waiting is not a very popular attitude.” Although common knowledge, the reasons for this phenomenon are less clear-cut. Why is it that we find waiting such a painful thing to do? Nouwen provides a very insightful answer: a time conscious culture. “Time is money” is yet another saying beat into children from an early age. The expectation is that every hour of the day is to be filled with meaningful activity—eating, sleeping and other necessities occupying just enough time to leave the rest of day to other required duties. Clearly in this carefully planned scheme, sitting around doing nothing is equal to throwing time to the wind. More than just a waste of time, Nouwen provides another explanation for this pervasive dread of waiting—fear. According to him, “people are afraid…of inner feelings, afraid of other people and also afraid of the future.”—the things which waiting draws attention to. This is certainly an interesting suggestion which I would not have considered right away. An interesting suggestion, I would not have readily considered this option. Clearly, in a day occupied with constant activity, there is no room for those ugly inner feelings, long exposure to the foul moods of a colleague or class mate or even the uncertainties of the future. It is no surprise then, that people don’t like waiting.
Ironically, I see the benefits of patience in the situations portrayed it as a weakness. Interestingly, it is the moments spent waiting at the bus stop or at the doctor’s office that I do some much needed introspection. Seated at the ophthalmologist’s office, my future as blurry as the vision through my dilated eyes, I usually reflect on my academics or remember a friendship I have neglected in my business. Although, like many, I may occasionally complain during these stretches of time, I am nonetheless thankful for them. At the risk of sounding like your mother, patience really is a virtue. It takes a certain strength of character to confront those dreaded inner feelings and take the necessary measures in dealing with them. Similarly, there is some merit in taking “wasted time” waiting at a restaurant to devise an effective strategy for dealing with that mean spirited boss or jotting down a reminder in your planner to check up on a friend. There is virtue in assessing one’s proximity towards a particular life goal, and overriding the fears associated with the future with clear practical steps to achieving this goal. Although I am aware that I ill not change popular psyche in two pages, but I hope I have given you enough food for thought for the next time you find yourself stuck at the checkout queue at Meijer.