Exercises
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Descriptive Writing-Tim
The weather has been teasing us this week. It was warm and sunny, feeling like spring wanted to relieve us of our winter blues, but this morning it is cloudy and lit only by the snow falling once more. It is a think snowfall. Each flake that shows us its presence seems to be larger than the one before it. Although these flakes are huge, they seem very light. As you watch it fall, it never seems to touch the ground; rather it swoops to the side and travels by as if it had somewhere better to be. Don’t be fooled. It all eventually lands and we can see it by the accumulation on the ground. Then you think, “It’s not that bad. It is actually quite pretty.” You stare intently at it falling and you forget to notice all the other things going on outside. It captures your attention as though it is the most important thing to look at. You find yourself just staring.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Writing on Steroids
Like baseball sluggers who juice themselves up to hit more home runs, we did an in-class “writing on steroids” exercise to artificially pump up our writing. Now that we know what it feels like to be bulked up, let’s go back to our “weight room” (or our dorm rooms) and strengthen our writing muscles for real!
Here was the most juiced-up page from the bulkiest group:
While language began as an oral tradition—starting anciently [editor’s note: I didn’t think this was a word until I looked it up] and continuing through the 15th century—literacy changed communication with its invention. [+2 for a complex sentence] As Ong states in his many works on the theory of literature, written communication established a sense of eloquence in our culture; it made us appear more educated. [+2 for a complex sentence, +2 for semicolon]
Monday, March 28, 2005
Cara - descriptive piece
Winter in Michigan, there has never been a more dreary sight. Cars rush by in a sea of endless white swirls of cold moisture, eager to arrvie at a destination, to any place warmer.
March winders whirl past with their relentless tantrums, suggesting to Michigan dwellers that perhaps we aren’t as far from the North Pole as previously imagined. Hopes are dashed when, upon awakening on that frigid early-March morning, one finds that the unmerciful wind once again caters the unwelcomed regathering of winter.
Descriptive Essay - Matt Hirdes
The snow drifts down from a murky sky covering the wintery landscape, making it hard to believe that it is already teh second week of March, although we are in Michigan. The minute flakes float through the air, finally resting on the ground forming an intricate pattern. How can a cloudless sky produce such an assortment of powder? It blankets everything in sight. Circling around and around in the blundering wind. The flithy landscape becomes a shade of almost pure white, beautifying the filth of the leftover fallen leaves. Reworking the landscape into a new pristien look of innocence.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Deceitful and Dangerous: Snow
I open my eyes and I see only a blur. I rub them to force them into focus, and then realizing they already are in focus. It is back, ths is once again casting a cloud over my vision and heart. Children love snow, for them, snow is synominous with “Snow Day.” They cannot see the snow as I do; I know that its white, innocent, fluffy appearance in only a disguise for what is actually taking place. The trees have already prepared for ther wretched winter months. Those tha can, keep their foilage and stand defiantly against the snow that pours from the heavens. Those trees that could not hold onto their green wrappings, stand naked waiting to be inspected and judged each and every day. Each day they are tested whether or not they are strong enough to last through to the next day. The people are similar. They walk through the treacherous snow, not a single smile can be afforded. They are too busy holding onto their woollen scarfs, though it matters little for the snow brings the cold. That cold penetrates through every layer until it reaches through to our inner most being. Not ceasing until it reaches the very marrow of us. The icy wind teases at the flaps of our coats, meanwhile the snow continues to paint us with its poisonous whiteness. Outside is so bright yet none of the brillance from even a single sunray can break its way through the thick, suffocating clouds. Perhaps winter will end and the snow will leave but if it does, I know this much, the snow will give all the fight it can to stay for as long as seasonally possible. This is the bleak picture I see before me. I will hope to see you all when life begins and Spring finals wins and kicks the last stubborn snow piles back up north.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
descriptive assignment- Allison K.
I look out at the parking lot with its rows of cars and I can not help but think about what used to be there before they decided to put that slab of tar there. I can see eight rows of cars. Each row is different with its different sizes, shapes, and colors of each car. And as I am watching more cars are coming and going.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Descriptive Essay - Jamie
The tree knew it was March and that the vibrant days of Spring were just around the corner. The tree couldn’t wait for the soft, green buds to form on its phalange-like branches and for bireds to rest their weary legs and sing their enchanting melodies on its branches. As for now, the tree had to settle on the dull, grey snowy days in March. It had to be content with the fluttering snow and wait paitently for the bright, shining sunbeams from the sun.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Descriptive Essay-Drew
A great plane of solid grey is stretched against the back of the sky. The grey seems not content to remain within limits and strives to make everything also its boundaries grey as well. As a result is makes everything on the ground tinged with grey or perhaps that is due to the snow-covered parking lot and snow covered cars and snow-covered bushes. But as I look across the parking lot, right outside the window, I see splashes of yellow, red , and aqua-green. These dashes seem so unnatural maybe because they are not natural produced in some down town factory in Detroit. But then again what is natural? These objects may be a sore to the eye and may be tired of the many names others call them, but at least they are close to home, only a few miles from where they were birth. But, the people inside them are natural compared to the metal that encases them, they radiant with warmth, the only object giving warmth in such a cold environment, but I like to think it is more than that hot cup of coffee in their hands that is giving this place its heat. After looking at the scene in front of me for awhile, I came to the conclusion that snow is a curse, covering everything with one bland color just like the plane of sky. Think about it, would you like to live and move in a world of only one color. I think not and perhaps God thought the same thing.
Descriptive Essay-Tyler
As I watched an ambulance drive speedily down the East Beltline, the word life is printed on the side. There is life traveling roughly 60 mph on the beltline that may never meet the other ant trudging through the two-lane tunnel toward their king or queen ant as we like to call them “Bosses”. I sporadically see life walking under the bridge that is engulfed by small hills with green blades of grass poking through the snow, begging for sping. On this day I disagree with the pleading grassroots, for I enjoy seeing the finger-width snowflakes, manipulated by the changing wind, ever so softly hitting the ground to cover the grass once more. Away from the road everything is still sleeping…
Descripitve Writing Exercise-Dave
Rows of coniferous red bushes are perched next to the building. Leaves, leftover from the fall, cling to the empty branches. These leaves do not belong to the bush, but the bush still gathers them in. Without the leaves the red arms of the bush would look scraggily, and out of place. Without the bush the leaves would be non-existent, mulch for someone’s spring time garden.
Typo Awards Standings - March
Here are the Typo Awards Standings as of spring break. As we would say if we were watching the Kentucky Derby, it’s shaping up to be a two-horse race.
typos-points name
32-56 Cara D.
26-43 Stephanie W.
06-12 Tyler H.
06-12 Dave K.
04-08 Tim H.
Here are some of the errors these and other students have found ...
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Using “I think” in academic writing
I posted this last month at KnightVision, but I thought I’d share it with our larger audience—especially now that we have comments. What are your thoughts and experiences relating to “I think”, “we can see,” “readers can conclude,” and so forth?
Should English 101 students never use “I think” or “I agree” in a paper? Should they use the editorial “we” as an alternative?
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
the nuances of “obviate” and its synonyms
I said in class today that words have subtle nuances. Look at how subtle these disctinctions are among “obviate” and its synonyms. This is from www.m-w.com:
obviate \AHB-vee-ayt\ verb
: to anticipate and prevent (as a situation) or make unnecessary (as an action)
Example sentence:
Rob checks every ledger entry twice to obviate any problems when it comes time for an audit.Did you know?
“Obviate” derives from the Late Latin “obviare” (meaning “to meet or withstand”) and the Latin “obviam,” which means “in the way” and is also an ancestor of our adjective “obvious.” “Obviate” has a number of synonyms in English, including “prevent,” “preclude,” and “avert”; all of these words can mean to hinder or stop something. When you prevent or preclude something, you put up an insurmountable obstacle. In addition, “preclude” often implies that a degree of chance was involved in stopping an event. “Obviate” generally suggests the use of intelligence or forethought to ward off trouble. “Avert” always implies that a bad situation has been anticipated and prevented or deflected by the application of immediate and effective means.
Word Choice Exercise 2
In the spirit of Strunk and White’s deliberately poor rewrite of Thomas Paine’s “These are the times that try men’s souls” (see p.67 and Zinsser p.37), take each quote and rewrite it to make it worse (or better).
3. Some people make headlines while others make history.
Philip Elmer-DeWitt
*Some people are in the tabloids while others are in the textbooks.
4. We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
Sam Keen
Alt: Love is all about bearing with imperfections.
5. If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
Old Irish Saying
Alt: God gives money to people who characterize how he feels about money.
6. The freethinking of one age is the common sense of the next.
Matthew Arnold
Alt: The radical thinking of one generation is picked up by the next.
Word Choice Exercise
Looking for the wrong word can help writers look for the right word. Take the following words or phrases and write at least two bad alternatives for each. Put a star by any alternative you think is better.
1. “oatmeal” in “the other four are like oatmeal.” (Zinsser 37)
manna
*tofu
2. “punch” in “can carry a tremendous punch.” (Zinsser 37)
weight
meaning
3. “vacuum-packed” in “Every summer vacation our family of seven vacuum-packed ourselves into it” (Rushin 2)
our family of seven stacked ourselves into it like sardines
4. “Skippy peanut butter” in “the heroes of my youth were all as smooth and wholesome as Skippy peanut butter” (Rushin 2)
the boy next door
Vitamalt
5. “the genesis of my exodus” (Rushin 3)
the beginning of my journey
the start of my adventure