Friday, April 22, 2005
Seinfeld In my Dorm Room
Seinfeld Episode in my Dorm room
Something happened to my roommate and I that reminded me of a script from the hit comedy series of Seinfeld. The reason why the following was so funny was because it was just about everyday life like the show represented for so many years.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Forbidden Pleasure
Who knew that with a key, an empty pool, and the glorious April sunshine that one can find bliss beyond the scope of writable words?
Today, with the sun illuminating the shockingly white bottom of a winter-worn pool, I took a single key and opened the door into my own personal heaven. I walked through the lobby of the old community pool; it still smelled like chlorine from the long summer days when the line of eager children awaited that icy blue water amid the scorching heat.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Should Law Enforcement use Tasers?
The article in The Week describes the amazing popularity of Taser guns in law enforcement as opposed to guns. The Taser guns are a different for of enforcement that are a substitute for using real guns to persuade criminals to give up easily. These guns, however, do cause much pain but without bullet holes to show for it. When someone is “tased”, the gun sends volts of electricity through the body that make the criminals fall to the ground without giving up a fight. Recently though, an investigation has taken place because of ninety-three deaths associated with the Taser gun. The Taser Company based in Arizona has made statements that most of the victims of the Taser deaths were due to the people being high on drugs or had previous medical problems. The only tests that they base their product on though are on a pig and a few dogs.
Did You Ever Notice?
Did you ever notice how it is extremely hard to get anything done when the weather is nice? You look outside and see throngs of people laying out, playing volleyball, and running by; each person soaking up as much sun as they can. They seem to be enjoying every minute they have of the nice weather because it has been away for so long. Did you ever notice how you, upon seeing all of these people, wonder how they have so much time to be doing any of these activities? Don’t they have homework, or am I the only sucker who has about a million things to do for tomorrow’s class? They seem to be careless. Why do I care so much about this work when my neighbor doesn’t?
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Humor Essay: Evan
The Most Expensive Black Hole Ever (Has Just Swallowed Your Futon)
by Evan Eilers
The ultra-smart scientists at Brookhaven National Laboratory have finally come up with a way to get rid of all that excess gold that has been piling up and taking up space in bank vaults around the world. Bankers will at last have enough room to play ultimate Frisbee indoors, or, if they have a long enough hose, turn the unused vaults into ice skating rinks. The question you are now asking yourself has a very simple answer: no, the bankers will not charge money to go ice skating in their vaults.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Steve Rushin on reading his writing
I meant to show you earlier what Steve Rushin said when I e-mailed him to say that I was assigning his columns in English 101. Ever self-deprecating, he replied:
Reading my columns should be suitable punishment for your students with the worst disciplinary records.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
If the Bible had been written by college students
From an e-mail forward:
The top ten ways the Bible would have been different if it had been written by college students:
10. The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning…cold.
9. The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written
in a large font.8. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling.
7. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t cafeteria food.
6. Paul’s letter to the Romans becomes Paul’s e-mail to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
5. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.
4. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.
3. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.
2. Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years: They
didn’t want to ask directions and look like freshmen.1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh,
He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled
an all-nighter.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
word essay-pretty-Lauren
The word “pretty” started out with different spellings and different meanings and it is now down to one spelling and three different meanings. Some of the old spellings of pretty included: prati, praty, prayty, preatie, perty, putty, and there are many more. In Old English, pretty meant cunning, crafty, artful, wily, or astute. It has changed a lot over the course of the year and now it means attractive, very, or fairly. “Pretty” is a very common word used daily by people. It can be used formally or informally. “Pretty” started out in Old English and has continued through out the years with different meanings; it is now extremely widespread and can be used in many different settings.
“Pretty” has changed meanings from the time of Old English to the 15th century to the present.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Eavesdrop-Megan W
The definition that most Americans typically mean when they use the word eavesdrop today is, as the Oxford English Dictionary says, “To listen secretly to private (conversation).” This is not the meaning that was always used; it is a definition that has come to be over time. Eavesdrop originally meant, “the place where the water drops from the eaves” The roof extended about two feet from the walls of the house. Back in England is when its usage first started. As time continued, the word eavesdropper came to be used as “somebody who stood within this strip of ground, under the projecting eaves and close to the walls of a building, in order to listen surreptitiously to the conversations within” (Quinion). In 1515, this word was used when it was written, “eavesdroppers under men’s walls or windows.” Using this analogy, this word, eavesdropper, comes to life; we can see the word in our mind, a person crawling along a wall, sneaking under the windows, so that they can hear what the people inside of the house are talking about. This came to mean the people who listen in on other people’s conversations, not necessarily actually listening in on the conversations in the house, but other places as well.
Friday, April 01, 2005
My Legg-xical moment of Zen_edirin
Ah yes, Spring is finally here! The weather’s warmer, the grass is greener, and for some funny reason the skirts on campus all seem to have gotten a whole lot shorter. Not that I’ve been paying particular attention to them, of course not…ahem; at least not the skirts. What I’ve simply been observing is legs. And once again, no; I do not mean this in some silly perverse way but rather in a scholarly contemplative one. Just bear with me and resist jumping to conclusions, you will soon understand.
A Gentleman’s Game?
“Tennis is a gentlemen’s game,” I have often heard. I, being a tennis player, have gotten to see a lot of tennis players in my lifetime. There is a common trait with many tennis players; they have anger issues. I have watched kids on my team throw rackets, stomp off the court in anger, and yell at fans. These are high school kids. What is it about trying to get that little ball over the net makes people who seem perfectly normal loose their minds? I will be the first to admit it can be a frustrating task at times but even at my worst I do not make half the scene that many players do.
Descriptive Writing_Edirin
The snow gently falls down and blankets the Devos parking lot, like Gods little salt shaker flavoring the otherwise dull concrete floor. I am watching everything happen from indoors, but just by looking I can feel the powerful cold wind biting at my face. It causes my eyes to release icy tears that burn as I struggle to remove my glasses and wipe them away. I feel my thing rubber and cotton shoes crunching through the dry frozen soil. Occasionally I slip on a sheet of ice and then quickly glance around to see if anyone noticed how close I was to completely embarrassing myself. I do this even though the only likely audience close enough to notice or care are the Mitsubishis, Chevy’s, and Voltzwagon parked a few feet away from me.
NBC’s “Medium” and ABC’s “Supernanny”- Lauren
The article that I am writing my journal entry on is a commentary by Nancy Franklin on NBC’s “Medium” and ABC’s “Supernanny.” I have never seen “Medium” before, but I have seen “Supernanny” a couple of times. The article did not make me want to see “Medium” because it had quite a bit of negative opinions toward the show. The few positive comments it made did not make up for all the bad remarks that it already gave. The show’s main character is based on a real person with the same name; this caught my eye at first because I like true stories, but this was about the only thing that attracted me. The story plot is that the main character interacts with dead people and helps solve crimes, which doesn’t sound overly appealing to me. The article goes on to describe the relationship between the main character and her husband. The husband seems to be very passive towards his wife. He never gets upset when she is always coming home incredibly late and he never cares when they are having a normal conversation and she snaps at him. I think this would be aggravating to watch because you just want to get this person to stand up for themselves once in awhile. On the other hand, I would be very interested in watching “Supernanny” again. I have only seen it maybe two times, but I enjoyed it and thought that the Nanny did a good job controlling the kids. I think the principle behind the show is good as well because it helps show parents what they are doing wrong so that they can try to fix it. At the end of the two episodes that I saw, the nanny had helped a lot and the kids were much better behaved.