All parents will experience some fairly intense feelings associated with the milestone of dropping a child off to college. Some parents will feel them immediately; others will feel them some time later. Everyone is different. But here are the most common feelings which parents describe:

1. Sadness. It feels like the "end of an era." The empty room parallels the emptiness within the parent. A time of reflection.

2. Relief. For some parents, it feels good to have a more orderly home, more time to focus on other things, etc. This is not bad!

Randy Wolthuis, Ph.D., Director, Broene Counseling Center, shares helpful information and insights with parents at PASSPORT orientation.

3. Pride. Most parents have done very good jobs and you should feel proud and blessed at this milestone.

4. Anxiety. Almost every parent has some fear or anxiety about the readiness of their son or daughter for college life and all its responsibilities.

5. Guilt. Some parents are troubled by nagging questions of whether they have done a "good enough job" being a parent to their child, whether their child was prepared well enough by them to undertake this new venture.

6. Thankful. It's common and right to be thankful and to be "full of praise" to God and all others who have played such a role in nurturing this precious child to this point in his or her development.

How to Cope With This Transition Phase in your Life

1. Accept that your feelings will be some combination of the ones listed above and allow yourself to feel.

2. Talk about these feelings with other parents, starting with the other parent of your child in the case of married parents. It will help you to compare how you feel to what you hear from other people.

3. Consider adding something to your life. Your own "equilibrium" might be out of balance a bit and may need some adjusting. Adding a new creative outlet, a hobby, a pet, or a new activity may help restore some equilibrium by becoming invested or excited in some new thing.

4. Take comfort in the fact that you are still needed by your child, just in a different way. Your job as a parent is still not over; it's just changing.

5. Praise God for His faithfulness to you and your child!

Top 11 "Do's and Don'ts" for Parents of First-year Students

1. Avoid the "These are the best years of your life" speech. There's already enough college hype and expectation.

2. Understand the significance of friends to your son and daughter during the summer prior to the freshman year.

3. Understand that your son or daughter still needs you . . . just in a different way. They need you to listen, guide, and be available.

4. Before college starts, talk about:

a. Communication (how, who, how much, whose initiative?)

b. Finances (are the arrangements and responsibilities clear?)

c. Academic Expectations (be careful! Much room needed for time and exploration!)

d. Social Life (you can't control it, but you can convey what you think is best).

5. Allow your son or daughter to determine how the day you drop them off at college goes. Let him/her decide when to unpack, how much you will help, etc.

6. As the school year goes on, call your son or daughter, but not too much. Listen. And keep unsolicited "parental advice" to a minimum.

7. Don't be surprised to hear some anxiety and self-doubt before the first round of tests or examinations.

8. Use "care packages" to connect your child with you and home.

9. Don't react too quickly if your son or daughter calls home and is very upset.

10. If you can help it, don't rearrange his/her room or dissolve it completely. Your child will still need a little bit of permanence in his or her ever-changing world.

11. Renegotiate rules and expectations when your son or daughter comes home for breaks. Roles are changing (hopefully).