Calvin’s information technology department has developed a new software program that effectively turns nasty e-mails into pleasant and polite e-mails, thus eliminating the need for retraction from a recipient’s mailbox and sender’s remorse. An e-mail that might previously have read “I was appalled at your utter lack of common sense concerning the foolish proposal presented at yesterday’s meeting,” would automatically convert to “I was dazed by your ability to rationalize the justification of the suggestion presented yesterday. Can we meet for coffee and talk?” The new software, PoliteKnight, is currently being applied to all on-campus computers.

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