Nov 12, 2002
Editor's Note: The story below appeared in the November 10 Grand Haven Tribune and is reproduced below with permission. Both Dave VerMerris and Bob Nagelkirk are 1960s graduates of Calvin. This story was written by Gena Kaiser (gkaiser@grandhaventribune.com)
The friendship between Dave VerMerris and Bob Nagelkirk goes back a long time.
In 1968, the two hit it off immediately when VerMerris took a teaching job at Western Michigan Christian High School, where Nagelkirk was already the school's band director.
"He's the kind of person who loves to have a good time and play jokes on people," VerMerris said of Nagelkirk.
Nagelkirk said he has always appreciated VerMerris' sense of humor.
"I like to mess around," he explained.
Their families became close and their children grew up together.
Their friendship continued even when Nagelkirk left Western Michigan Christian in 1979 and took a job as the band director at Kalamazoo Christian High School. He retired from that position last year.
VerMerris (right) stayed on at Western Michigan Christian for 30 years, teaching chemistry and math, and coaching soccer and track and later serving as the school's assistant principal. He left in 1998 for Calvin College, where he served as the coordinator of athletic recruitment, worked in the admissions department and coached varsity soccer. He returned to Western Michigan Christian this fall as the school's principal.
And while they don't
see each other often, every year for more than 20
years VerMerris, Nagelkirk and their families have vacationed together
in cottages that sit next door to each other on Missaukee Lake. Nagelkirk
said that they all spend a week enjoying the water, good food and each
other's company.
The friendship has held strong for 34 years.
So when Nagelkirk's kidneys failed last March, VerMerris said he did what any good friend would do -- he offered to give him one of his own.
"I tried to talk him out of it and he said to me, 'You'd do the same for me.' And he's right, I would," Nagelkirk said.
Nagelkirk was diagnosed with kidney disease back in 1973. He said that at the time the doctors told him that his kidneys would last about 10 years.
"I figure I'm pretty lucky," Nagelkirk said, pointing out that that his kidneys didn't fail until about 30 years later.
Nagelkirk, who started on dialysis last March, found out he would need a kidney transplant.
"My wife (Bernice) wanted to give me a kidney, but she's the wrong blood type," he said, adding that other family members also failed to be a match.
That's when VerMerris and his wife Nancy decided to find out if they could be donors for Nagelkirk. The tests showed that both of them were a match. Since Nancy has high blood pressure, VerMerris said that he decided to move forward in the process and went through more tests to make sure both his kidneys were healthy and working properly.
The transplant surgery is now scheduled for Dec. 18 in Ann Arbor.
VerMerris downplays what he is doing for Nagelkirk, saying that a kidney is "kind of like a spare tire you can offer to someone else." He said that while donating one of his kidneys won't make much of a difference in his life, he's glad it will make a world of difference for his friend.
"His quality of life and length of life should improve dramatically," said VerMerris, who will need about two weeks of recovery time after the surgery.
And while he is modest about his donation, VerMerris stressed the importance of organ donations. He points out that there are many people on a waiting list for organs, who are in desperate need.
VerMerris said he has been touched personally by the difference that organ donations can make. His first wife, Merrie, suffered a brain aneurysm in 1992, and later died following surgery. VerMerris said that a total of 53 people benefited from the donation of his wife's organs and other body parts.
"People should be aware, there is no reason not to donate organs. It's an awful shame to bury those when people on a day-to-day basis are kind of clinging to life," he said.
VerMerris said that
it's been incredible to talk to the people who received Merrie's organs,
and hear how their lives have improved. He
added that donor recipients tend to live life differently. They are more
giving, he explained.
He said he hopes that people will fill out the organ donation information on the back of their drivers' license or will maybe even consider making a donation like his.
Now VerMerris and Nagelkirk are asking for lots of prayers and say they are hopeful that the upcoming surgery will go well. Both of them have to be healthy from Dec. 11-18, in order for the surgery to proceed as planned.
"You can't even have a cold or they'll put it off," Nagelkirk said.
Currently, Nagelkirk has dialysis three days a week for four hours, which leaves him exhausted. He is also on a strict diet, which includes restricting the amount of fluids he can drink. After the transplant, he said that he is looking forward to being able to drink as much water as he wants.
Both Nagelkirk and VerMerris said they don't know the reason why people have two kidneys, when they can survive with just one. But the friends have similar explanations.
"(God) gave you two so you could donate one," Nagelkirk offered.
"I don't know
why God gave us two kidneys when one can do the job,"
VerMerris said. "Maybe it's there for a friend."
