Welcome to the Broene Counseling Center website! It is our privilege to be placed in a position to assist Calvin students. If your son, daughter, or family member is a Calvin student and in need of counseling services, be assured that we are eager to help.

You can find general information about our hours, location, services, and staff by going to our home page and clicking on the links there. Listed below are questions which parents and family members typically ask along with our responses.

1. I think my son/daughter needs your services. How can I know for sure?

Family members and parents are often the first to notice students who are encountering overwhelming stress or are having problems coping. Their struggling can potentially interfere greatly with their academic performance, personal relationships, and daily behavior. Listed below are some things which might signal the need for a counseling evaluation:

1. changes in sleep, appetite, or energy level
2. social withdrawal or isolation
3. changes in behavior or personal hygiene
4. signs of excessive alcohol and/or drug use
5. expressions of sadness, unhappiness or mistrust
6. change in academic performance; absenteeism in class
7. loss of interest in activities which have been previously pleasurable or meaningful
8. crying spells
9. physical complaints without a known medical cause
10. unusual repetitive or ritualistic behavior
11. relationship problems with family or friends
12. talk or reference, whether direct or indirect, to suicide.
13. previous emotional disturbance or treatment
14. recent traumatic event or loss.

2. How do I encourage my son/daughter to seek help from you?

Talk with your son or daughter in a caring and direct manner. Share with him/her what behavior or specific signs you see which concern you. Assure him/her of your support. Validate the strength that it shows when someone has the courage to ask for help. If they are unaware of the Broene Counseling Center, refer them to this website. Let your son/daughter know that you will be as involved as they would like you to be. Assure your son/daughter that everyone struggles from time to time and that we all need each other.

3. My son/daughter refuses to seek help even though we’re convinced he/she needs it. What can we do?

This is a tough one. Its so hard when you are convinced that your loved one needs help and you so desperately want to see him/her become less distressed. It’s a helpless feeling for a parent. Continue to be supportive. Resist the urge to go “underground” by, for example, talking behind your son’s/daughter’s back to friends to “convince” him/her of the need, etc. Doing so more often backfires and makes things worse. If you feel it is necessary to inform your son’s/daughter’s RA or RD, communicate that to your son or daughter and be “up front” about it. Continue to listen and be supportive.

In exceptional circumstances where a son/daughter is judged to be at risk, either because of some references to suicide/death or by not caring for his/her basic needs, parents can facilitate mandated treatment through the court system. Calvin student life staff or counseling staff can help facilitate this. Thankfully, this is rarely needed as most students eventually see the need for seeking help.

4. If my son/daughter seeks help with the Broene Counseling Center, will I know and how much will I be involved?

Most parents understand the importance of confidentiality for anyone seeking counseling services. Indeed, providing a safe, confidential setting is the real cornerstone of any counseling process. As legal adults, Calvin students are afforded that critical benefit also. However, our experience is that the sizeable majority of students who seek counseling services actually desire that their parents know what is going on in their lives, including how they are feeling emotionally and how they are finding the process of counseling. Many students elect to keep their parents informed by themselves. Most students have no problem with a parent talking with his/her counselor. A signed consent form allows that kind of communication to occur. If a counselor feels it is important for him/her to speak with a parent, our experience is that the vast majority of students understand and see how this would help and are supportive of it. Be assured that Broene Counseling Center staff appreciates the role of parents during this sometimes difficult time of transition for their young adult children.

5. It has been recommended to my son/daughter that an antidepressant be used as part of his/her treatment. How do I find out about this?

First, talk with your son or daughter and ask your questions. Use what he/she has learned already. Second, ask your son/daughter if it would be permissible for you to speak with his/her counselor in order to get a more professional “reading” as to the clinical rationale for the recommendation, what the treatment goals are, what can be expected, etc.